after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize