She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize