we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
