Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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