i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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