Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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