Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize