can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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