dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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