I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize