Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
