It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
