All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
