He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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