you guys were way drunker than both of me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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