We're like a lot better than the average bears
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
