Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
