Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
