Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
