Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
