ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
