idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
