I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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