How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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