How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you would pick up someone in the library
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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