TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Terrible idea I love it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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