Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
