Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
