Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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