My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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