your room smells of hookers.
And success
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
