if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
