I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
