just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
