Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize