I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
