I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
