Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
