That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
