His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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