no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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