Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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