So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
