He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
sex in a hospital.. check
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
