adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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