Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
