Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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