Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
