come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
