so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
