you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
