Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This is not my ceiling
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
