if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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