is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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