belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am one with the molecules
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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