I think i peed on brittanys purse
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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