...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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