I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
