It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
