I am full of burrito and curiosity
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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