hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
