I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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