wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
